When I first started this blog, I had high hopes  Hopes for writing regular posts, and hopes for getting out of the nursing home. Well, I don’t remember the last time I wrote a blog post, and I’ve been in Gilad for more than six years.  It doesn’t look like I’ll be getting out of the nursing home anytime soon.

The first nursing home I was in, 8 1/2 years ago, I only stayed for a few months. The purpose was to continue the therapy that began in rehab.  I was using a wheelchair, but I could get in and out of it by myself, and I also had my walker.  (Actually, the technical term is Rollator.)

Wherever I went in the wheelchair, I pushed the Rollator in front of me, to demonstrate my intention to someday walk again.

So now. I’m going to stick with the title ‘Escape From the Nursing Home,’  to demonstrate my hope to someday get out of here.

The Rollite Rollator looks like a regular walker, except it has larger wheels and a fold-down seat. Mine had a basket, When in my wheelchair, I could also use the Rollator seat as a portable desk.

I should probably change the name of this blog, as it does not seem like I will be escaping any time soon.  I’m not giving up hope today, so the name stays.

Thanks to a combination of Corona isolation and continuing dizziness, I haven’t left my room since March 8.  I know this detail because I spent the morning getting my health insurance approvals organized.  It still amazes me how exhausting paperwork can be.

The groceries I requested arrived:  lettuce, cherry tomatoes, bananas, smoked salmon, and a bar of dark chocolate.  Yes!יש

Phone meeting with psychologist cancelled.  Works for me.  Got the insurance papers and don’t have to talk on the phone – the best of both worlds.

I wanted to do some bed exercises – Zombie’s Run, The Homefront – but I’m not sure I have time before lunch.

Everyone be safe and healthy and as happy as you can be.  We’ll get out of this eventually.  (Does anyone besides me have the theme song from Poseidon Adventure running through their head?)

There’s got to be a morning after . . .

 

 

 

 

I said I was going to commit to imperfect writing but I failed:  I started setting drafts aside with the idea of editing them before posting.  Did they get posted?  No.

I lost weight, then gained some back.  I got started back at the pool, then sprained my ankle and I am currently in bed with a stomach bug.  Hopefully this will give my ankle time to heal.  No guarantees, though.  Part of the problem is that the aides sometimes pick up my leg by the side of the foot, which hurts my ankle even more.  I’ve been talking to them about it, but they have a tendency to go on autopilot.  So we’ll see.

My friend Lina (pronounced Leena) passed away last month.  It’s a blessing that her suffering is over, but I still miss her.  I look for her when I pass her room or come to the table.  I’m also srill grieving for my sister.  Mourning — totally miserable, but it’s the price we pay for having good people in our lives.

I need a title, then I can post this.  Imperfectly forward!

Last night I was rereading Jon Acuff’s book, Finish:  Give Yourself the Gify of Done.  The day after perfect is the day after you mess up your plans:   to exercise every day, to stick to your diet, to write regularly, . . . whatever goal you have in mind.  With respect to this blog, I was surprised to see it’s almost three months since I last posted anything.  So, following the idea of going bravely forward in spite of imperfection, I am writing.

I just realized I am still battling perfectionism – having declared that I will write anyway, now I am caught in the trap of editing to make it perfect.  So in addition to committing to an imperfect schedule, I shall also commit to imperfect writing.  It really hurts to say that – my stomach doesn’t like it at all.  I guess that’s a sign that this is a good thing.

Anyway, Finish is a good book.  Funny, and with some good ideas.  I recommend it.

Last week was my fourth anniversary of being in this nursing home.  (It’s 5 years since I returned to Israel from the U.S. after my annual PT benefits expired in June.)  In some ways I have progressed – I have almost full range of motion now and I have developed the strength to keep my left arm straight when I raise it.  When I started I couldn’t raise my arms above shoulder height even with help, and I couldn’t raise my left arm unless the elbow was bent.  I can can feel the muscles in my ankles and they contract when I think about them.  I have learned to feel which muscles in my left side I need to contract to sit up straight.  I can straighten my legs (in bed) without help and I frequently do so.

I need to keep listing these things to see that there is progress, albeit at glacial speed.  A researcher in the U.S. decided that physical therapy doesn’t really help people with MS based on a 3-month study.  It does help, but over time.  I can see small, but I think meaningful, improvements that have taken years.

So. goal:  5 more years to achieve walking.   (I actually feel kind of excited.)  Let the snail race continue!